"Primal fear"

The ocean has always held a special place in my heart. Living near the sea for the past 14 years has deepened my connection with its beauty and sheer mystery. When I first heard about the International quilt contest “Ocean” at the EPM award ceremony in 2023, I knew right away that I wanted to participate. The theme resonated deeply with my experiences and emotions. I envisioned creating a piece that reflects both the beauty and struggles of the North. 

Finding inspiration was a journey in itself. For almost 3 months, I searched for ideas that resonated with me. Constant visits to museums, art galleries and the library became a part of my routine. I created a Pinterest board dedicated to all things ocean and northern (photos, drawings, and colour palettes).  None of that however seemed to lead me anywhere.

In search of inspiration, I decided to ask the students at the school where I work a thought-provoking question: "If the ocean could talk, what would it say?" 

With the help from teachers, I reached out to two different grades—2nd and 5th—to gain unique perspectives on this vital topic, because these children are the future caretakers of our planet.

The 2nd graders' approach to this question surprised me. Contrary to their characteristic innocence, they produced drawings that spoke volumes about the poor state of the ocean.  Armed with coloured pencils, they filled their works with caring messages such as, “Please don’t litter!” and “Save our home!”. Their artwork highlighted a surprising understanding of the pollution facing our oceans, as well as an appreciation for all the vibrant beauty found beneath the waves.

The 5th graders took a more analytical approach. With their growing understanding of environmental issues, they crafted thoughtful essays that personified the ocean. Many of the 5th graders wrote poignant letters from the ocean’s perspective, articulating its sadness over pollution, overfishing, and climate change. They expressed feelings of neglect and a yearning for help, emphasizing the role that each individual plays in caring for our planet.

Their thoughtful insights on the topic brought me closer to my artistic vision: What if I could bring a polar bear, a creature that symbolizes strength and resilience, to life within a magnifying glass, nestled between the lines of a mundane piece of paper? I envisioned a scene where the bear would appear to emerge from a written notebook, a metaphor for the intersection of nature and human expression.

The design process and execution was a painful journey of exploration, patience, perseverance as well as joyful collaboration that spanned almost five months of daily work. It was the most difficult project I have even done.

I started with the bear. I spent hours studying sketches and photographs of polar bears to learn their features, fur textures, and the way light plays on their white coats. This initial phase was crucial as it allowed me to understand the anatomy and movement of these magnificent creatures. I wanted my hand embroidery to capture not only the bear's physical beauty but also its spirit. The hand embroidery itself took almost 2 months. I used Aurifil 12 wt (colour 6722, Sea Biscuit) and 8 shades of DMC embroidery floss (varying in colour from cream to brown). I have never used a seam ripper in any of my works that much as I did in this project. There were moments when I simply wanted to throw the towel. But the realistic look of the bear was totally worth all the time spent.

The second design element was the magnifying glass. In this project it is more than just a physical tool; it is a metaphor for clarity and focus, a symbol of scrutiny and exploration. In design, it represents the importance of detail.  The reality of translating my vision of the magnifying glass into the Foundation Paper Piecing (FPP) templates was overwhelming. I realized that designing large templates requires not only creativity, but also technical skills that I was yet to master. I turned to a talented friend for assistance. Jitka Clement, a skilled designer from Canada (@jitkadesign), creatively brought my ideas to life in record time. Even though the templates were designed for FPP, I used a combination of applique and English Paper Piecing to create the magnifying glass.

Once two design elements were ready, I realised that I didn't have clear vision in my original design on how to make the bear appear between the lines of notebook paper. I started thinking of alternatives and settled on a map of Greenland, taking inspiration from the Greenland Ice Sheet Map by Eric Gaba. The map is a hand applique using freezer paper templates. 

The initial idea was to create the quilt entirely by hand, as this would reduce my carbon footprint and support sustainable practices. As the deadline approached, I realised I wouldn’t finish it in time by hand. The clock was ticking, and I had to adapt my plan. I opted for machine quilting on my domestic sewing machine Pfaff Quilt Expression 720.

To keep the theme, I quilted the grid lines like those on a globe. The longitudes, latitudes, and the Polar Circle were hand-stitched for extra detail. The map of Greenland is a matchstick quilting approx. ⅛” apart.

I finished the quilt just a few days before the submission deadline. I felt a rush of excitement. The photos turned out great, capturing all the colors and textures. However, I felt something was not right and soon realized what exactly was wrong. The quilt was 10 cm longer than required. This was a surprise I hadn’t anticipated. I had to completely redo the facing. It was frustrating but necessary to meet the guidelines. In the end, it taught me the importance of double-checking measurements. 

I decided to name the quilt “Primal Fear”. The name embodies the instinctual fear we feel for our planet and its inhabitants when faced with overwhelming change and uncertainty. Primal fear is a deep-rooted response to danger. Polar bears, like many animals, rely on this instinct to survive in their harsh environment. This title serves as a stark reminder of the challenges our planet faces, particularly due to global warming. When we think of primal fear, we think of survival instincts, of animals like polar bears, whose existence hangs in the balance as their habitat continues to deteriorate. 

As a textile artist, there is nothing more rewarding than witnessing an audience engage emotionally with my work. When I presented the quilt to my students, the reactions I received were deeply emotional. Some students said that they felt goosebumps and this reaction is a testament to the quilt´s emotional impact. Another powerful response was the urge to make a change. My students shared their feelings of urgency and responsibility toward the environment and wildlife conservation. They recognized the bear as not just an image, but as a symbol of the challenges that wildlife faces today. This is exactly what I hoped to achieve with "Primal Fear": to ignite a sense of purpose and drive within my audience. It's incredible how a piece of fabric can stir such strong feelings. Mission accomplished!

I am very honored and happy that this work received the prestigious Clover award at the EPM International Contest "Ocean" in Sante-Marie-aux-Mines, France (September 2024).

Special thanks to Kaisu Möller, Amy Westersund, and Päivi Huhtinen at the English School in Helsinki, Finland, for their invaluable support and assistance in this project ♥.